‘The Summer of Satisfaction’

The first page of his summer-diary read something like this:

I will kick your butt ...
I will kick your butt …
I will kick your butt …
I will kick your butt …

And each blank that I have left was filled with a name of some arrogant fucker or the other he knew. I have chosen to leave it blank for the sake of sweet sham. On the next page a single line in big fat letters said,

I will kick your butt …(followed by his own name)

On the bottom in minute lettering it said, ‘Judge not yourself or them. And judge not judgment itself.’

The blanks in no way mean that he will restrain him from trash talking. He might just bump into one of these unmentioned people and tell them right on their face, ‘I will kick your butt …(followed by their name)’

He had no ordinary way of trash talking though. It was mostly something that he called ‘Internal Trash Talking’. He never did it aloud. The intentions closest to his hearts could never swim closer to his mouth; if they happened to he would chew them and swallow them again. It was his belief that if he let the intent grow in himself enough, one day it would have no choice but to materialize. Hence, his self imposed ‘shut up and listen’, mode.

‘Project: I will kick your butt…’ was nothing but a projection of his enhanced competitive spirit which dictated to him that he should not only beat his competitor but brutally bury him in the crushing cascade a humiliating defeat. Nothing less will do. Nothing less will motivate him because ‘No Mercy Till Victory Secured’ had become his motto.

Afterall he has known failure so well that he knows exactly what not to do, which city not to head for, and which thoughts to never turn to for empathy. His mind mostly ran on nothing else but the ‘Failure-fuel’ that he had earned in his past years, but it was one of the few things that brought him warmth, as it buzzed along.

All the confidence that he seemed to exude, all the faith that seemed to emit from his eyes was nothing more than the gift of a passing moment that had touched him that summer. It was no ordinary passing moment though, that had passed him that summer; it was almost something that he had forgotten where he had once buried his soul. Now his soul showed and with it showed the faith with which his eyes glowed.

He seems to be getting closer to something that he calls ‘The Universal Nature of Intelligence’ and another something that he calls ‘The Unified Nature of Intelligence’ and the closer he gets, the more fiercely the waves of satisfaction run through his supple body. Theses two concepts on which he pins his life’s hopes, according to him, are not to be divulged but to be interpreted, even if that means inferring their meaning from the meager face value of the words used to coin them into convenient terms.

He rejoiced in the golden sunshine of that summer while he walked the path of his personal growth. That summer he discovered his true self, a self which he believes will never completely unravel. That’s how ‘The Summer of Satisfaction’ unfolded for him that year while people passed him by on the paths he treaded, mostly traveling in the opposite direction and talking in a language that he understood but never spoke.

And after a long-long sleep, he woke up to the sleep that he had almost forgotten the taste of.

That summer, he surrendered everything that he could claim as his own as ‘The Summer of Satisfaction’ grew on him unhurriedly.